What To Tell Your Children While Going Through Divorce

Going through the process of divorce is difficult at best, especially when there are children involved. Emotions are high and it can be natural to compete with your spouse for your child's affection, but there has to be a focus on the well-being of your offspring. This article guides you in what to say to your children while going through divorce.

1. It is not your fault. Whether a child is three or 30, it is a natural response to look for reasons why parents divorce. As children search for answers, one place they may look is inward. How children perceive a situation is altogether unpredictable, and may be based on something as seemingly insignificant as a passing glance or an off-the-cuff comment. During my separation, my then six year-old, overhearing an argument between my ex husband and myself about when things first became bad in our marriage, associated that same time with his own birth. Of course, our issues had nothing to do with him, and I still remind him of that often.

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Joint Tenancy

Sometimes the best way to learn is from other people's stories:
In 1997, Annette Fallucco placed two accounts containing certificates of deposit (CDs) totaling $139,314 in joint tenancy with her son, James. Five days later, Mrs. Fallucco executed her will, which provided specific bequests to her son and daughter, with the residuary estate to be distributed in equal shares to her grandchildren and one great-grandchild.
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Medical Durable Powers Of Attorney

Very important information on Durable Powers Of Attorney:
Clients frequently regard Medical Durable Powers of Attorney, also known as Health Care Proxies, as “throw-away” documents when considering their larger estate plans. The traditional centerpieces to one’s estate plan are generally considered Trust documents (if applicable) and Last Wills and Testaments.
http://www.counsel1st.com/healthcare_proxy.php

QDROS and Divorce

We caution divorced spouses that QDROs are not typically included in your attorney’s original fees and not all attorneys will draft these types of orders. Most will tell you that someone else will need to be hired to do it at the conclusion of your divorce, but you may not have realized they did so at a time when you are focused on other things.
http://www.counsel1st.com/defined_benefits_plan.php

Keep Your Emotions Out Of Divorce To Protect Your Finance

No one envisions their divorce on their wedding day, but unfortunately the fact is that a lot of marriages end in divorce. When you are starting the process of divorce it can seem like an impossible feat to keep your emotions checked, but it is a necessity. This article discusses financial advice for people going through a divorce...

“You always think when you’re newlyweds that the first few years are the peak of the divorce years, and that after 20 years everything is fine and dandy,” but many divorces happen to longtime couples, said Vielka Burey-Jacas, a certified financial planner and certified divorce financial analyst in Kendall. 

Julia Landry Laviolette

Social Security, marriage and divorce

Divorcing or marrying can change your retirement or social security accounts, and it is important to note the changes before rushing into either situation. This article highlights the way marrying and divorcing can affect your finances...

If your spouse (or your ex-spouse of 10 years' marriage) passed away, you have rights to widow's or widower's payments from Social Security. But if you remarry before age 60 those payments are barred for as long as your new marriage lasts. Here's the big exception: Remarriage after age 60 doesn't count; you would still have access to the widow(er)'s payments. So if you're planning a wedding two weeks before your 60th birthday, you might want to reschedule.

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What You Don't Say Can Hurt You- Estate Planning

There are many concerns when one creates a will: not including everyone, offending a family member, and not addressing every asset are a few issues that may prevent someone from preparing a will. It is important to be very honest about your intentions, and to be very honest about your feelings regarding certain family members. Use this article for reference before taking the steps to prepare your will.

There are lots of things to weigh and some truths to confront, and as painful as the conversation may be for some families, not having it will only result in more pain later on, said Carrozza. Our lives are complicated. There are remarriages, step-children, adult kids who can't handle money or are married to dolts. There are children with special needs, grandchildren with college worries, surviving spouses who remarry and nobody likes the new wife. Our lives are messy, said Carrozza, but an honest conversation now can pre-empt problems later on.

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